On Roe v. Wade's anniversary

Today marks the 37th anniversary of Roe v. Wade. Check out NARAL Pro-Choice America's detailed roundup on the state of choice in the U.S. -Naomi

Glorifying violence

A new line of t-shirts attempts to turn violence against women into fashion for men. As writer Melinda Tankard Reist puts it, "What we are seeing here is the glamourising of abuse, the suggestion of sexual aggression, a hint that women want to be treated roughly."

The blindfolded, gagged, roughed up, mostly naked t-shirt images are being marketed by the Australian clothing company Roger David. A Facebook group has coalesced to demand that the designer pull the shirts, but the glamor associated with silenced, sexualized women has already been prominently featured on sexy Roger David models:

I am generally more than willing to grant tremendous latitude to artists who incorporate offensive images, but these shirts don't make a fashion statement or a political statement. They simply make these disturbing images sexy. -Sara

Gayle Haggard hangs in there

With the publication of her memoir, Gayle Haggard bucks the trend of high profile wives leaving their unfaithful husbands post-scandal (think Mark Sanford's Jenny Sanford or Tiger Woods' Elin Nordegren). In Gayle's case, it was a male sex worker in Denver and a handful of meth trips that undid her husband Ted, the former pastor of Colorado Springs' evangelical New Life Church.

When Gayle and Ted were banished to Phoenix by New Life leaders upon the revelation of her husband's infidelity, Gayle was filled with questions about whether to stay or go.

"Will I be the woman who washes her hands of the situation and walks away from Ted?" she wrote, according to a piece in the Denver Post. "Or will I be the woman who loves him and shows forgiveness? The choice was mine."

Gayle says that she felt distant from Ted for the entirety of their decades-long marriage. But oddly enough, Ted's divulgement of his attraction to men brought her closer to him. And, she says, their marriage is stronger for it.

On its surface, Gayle's decision to stay appears naive and pathetic. Sanford and Nordegren were hailed as feminist heroes when they bucked their husbands, resisting the bogus wisdom to "stand by your man" in times of trouble.  Not only has Gayle opted to remain with someone who broke her trust, but she also believes that Ted will shed his same-sex attraction. Perhaps the braver thing to do would be to call it quits and urge Ted to own his sexuality outside the confines of a heterosexual marriage. But, in spite of Gayle and Ted's flawed belief that homosexuality can be cured (Ted went through a "restoration" process himself), Gayle's decision to hang with her husband smacks of something other than extreme misjudgment--it smacks of compassion.

In a perfect world, Ted would have explored his sexuality openly and without shame, opting to preach tolerance rather than homophobia in his Colorado Springs megachurch. But for a person so deeply conflicted about his ideology and his sexuality, there are worse things than the compassion and openness of a spouse. -Naomi

Bodily functions

Last year, Lady Finger blogger Sara wrote a post about a perplexing conversation that she had with a religious friend whose long abstention from sex was nearing its end with his upcoming marriage to a similarly ascetic woman. When the discussion turned to masturbation, Sara's friend conceded that he did it regularly.

"Among the factors guiding his celibacy is a physiological justification for male sexual pleasure," Sara wrote. "He explained, in some vague anatomical terms, that if a man does not masturbate, an 'unhealthy amount of testosterone will build up' in his body. This struck him as totally intuitive--dudes masturbate because they must."

"I asked about women," Sara continued, "and it turns out that like men, an 'unhealthy amount of estrogen can build up' in a woman's body, but fear not--the sexual impulses she might feel will be assuaged by menstruation."

Sara chalked the misinformation up to a bogus, but obscure religious teaching. "What's really troubling about this is that somewhere, somebody is teaching a sexist anatomy lesson based on a false physiological basis for male sexual urges and pleasure, while indicating that a woman's sex drive should have no bearing on when she and a partner will have sex--just wait for her cycle to run its course," she wrote.

But, as it turns out, comparing male masturbation to female menstruation has its roots in Judeo-Christian tradition. In The Jewish Body, Melvin Konner described the mikvah, a ritual purification bath that women must visit upon the end of their period.

"Wasted semen is about as polluting as menstrual blood," he wrote, "so nocturnal emissions require a man to go to the mikvah, too. But these occur mainly in youth, so the stricture is less a part of a man's life cycle than a woman's. Still, there is a parallel here: As Onan (the second son of Judah in the Bible, known for pulling out during sex) spilled his seed on the ground instead of making a baby, so a menstruating woman spills her seed every month."

Equating male sexual urges with female menstruation also provides the backdrop for Orthodox Judaism's restrictive double standards regarding homosexuality. Sex between men is strictly forbidden, the ultimate instance of wasting one's seed. Sex between women, on the other hand, is less scandalous since it has no repercussions on a woman's fertility. And hey, women are wasting their seed anyway when they menstruate. But a woman that menstruates too much is a scandal in her own right because that means she's not populating the world with the next generation of Jews.

While the Biblical sex talk seems pretty passe in light of our evolving perceptions of gender and sexuality, it's worth looking at ancient traditions to better understand our current hang ups. As Sara's friend can attest, old school ideas about men and women have continued with us to the present day. -Naomi

Oh, the perils of female success

Last fall, The Lady Finger commented on the widely-circulated General Social Survey study that claimed that liberated ladies--successful career women who managed to juggle jobs and domestic life with ease--were dreadfully unhappy. Feminism, the study and its subsequent news coverage insinuated, had left women with a nagging empty feeling that no number of professional accolades could assuage.

But now, according to the New York Times, career success can leave a lady not only unhappy, but single too. According to today's article, which detailed the fact that men are marrying "up" while women are marrying "down," it's darn near impossible for a successful hetero woman to find a good catch. The reason? Men are just too intimidated by smart women.

Today's article opens with the story of Beagy Zielinski, a 28-year-old stylist who broke up with her blue-collar boyfriend because he couldn't handle her professional accomplishments. “He was extremely insecure about my career and how successful I am," Zielinski told the Times. Though Zielinski initially seems to feel confident in her choice, she later appears to see her success as a personal risk.“‘You are confident, have good credit, own your own business, travel around the world and are self-sufficient. What man is going to want you?’" Zielinksi recalled her best friend, a man, telling her. "He laughed, but I found that pretty depressing.”

While the Times article contains some interesting factoids about female economic gains, like the General Social Survey, it furthers the lamentable untruth that women who become successful imperil their chance at happiness. The underlying message in these "trend" stories is that feminism has failed women. Feminism's unforeseen side effect--the slow proliferation of a general malaise--discounts the movement's victories. The only solution? A return to 1950s era drudgery.

No, thanks. -Naomi

Bodies as public property

I find that in many conversations about why feminism matters, I circle back to the significance of respecting bodies and privacy and personal space.  Finding a comfortable, private space for oneself even in a busy public place is entrenched as an intrinsic expectation in our world, and so when that personal space is violated, it strikes me as a particularly brazen disregard for the social codes that protect women and men.

Public groping is receiving a merited degree of attention in a new column in the Washington City Paper, The Sexist. Last week's column, "'I Just Wanted Him To Finish and Leave': Why Some Groping Victims Stay Silent" recounts the stories of several victims of public groping, and one woman's explanation of why it's hard to talk about the experience: "I think there’s a large amount of society that views what happened to me, or incidences in a public place, as not a valid form of molestation or groping.…It’s something that women should just brush off and get over.…[There’s] this mentality that, ‘After all, honey, it was just an accident, your clothes were on, you were safe in a public place.’” The Lady Finger has articulated the problem with disembodied women in previous posts, and groping manifests the problem in real life scenarios: men feel entitled to touch the parts they like, without consent, presuming that women's body parts are public property. -Sara

Georgi Vodka: "the butt is back"

As a newcomer to New York City, one of the most prolific advertising hubs in the world, I can't help but notice the number of sexy ladies that appear on, well, everything: subway platform walls, subway car exteriors, subway car interiors, buses, billboards, fliers. It's as if New York has yet to catch on to the post-sexy, ironic phase of advertising. Where are all the hipsters in nerd glasses shilling Apple products? Pushed aside by image after image after image of ladies in bikinis.

While it would be possible to devote an entire blog to tackling New York City's sexist ads, there's one in particular that deserves attention. Georgi Vodka, a liquor created by New York-based Star Industries, has launched a major advertising campaign on the back of city buses that feature a picture of the vodka bottle along with a woman's rear end. During rush hour, when buses are stacked side by side waiting to enter the city through the Lincoln Tunnel, one might see ass next to ass next to ass. The ads are bewildering because they make no attempt to bridge the product and the image. Rather than feature a woman drinking vodka, as if to insinuate that you, too, could be in the company of this lady if only you imbibed Georgi, the ads simply show butt and bottle. Bewildering, yes, but also upsetting. This disembodied ass, void of the accompanying body, furthers the frustrating message that women are not people, but just the sum of their body parts.

Apparently I'm not the only one irked by Georgi. A couple of years ago, the Metropolitan Transit Authority banned the ads after fielding complaints from angry bus riders. But Georgi struck back, holding a protest at City Hall with several of the butt models. Alas, the MTA relented. Check out the New York Post's coverage in the video below. -Naomi