Earlier this week, Washington City Paper's The Sexist column commented on a study that evidences that men are more likely to be "pleased" with the idea of an unplanned pregnancy than women are. The study, which was conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, found that 42 percent of men between the ages of 20 and 24 would be pleased with the news of a partner's unplanned pregnancy, as compared with 16 percent of women in the same age group.
The surprising results of the study have feminist bloggers, including yours truly, scratching their heads. This certainly flies in the face of the commonly held sexist notion that women dupe their men into fatherhood by "accidentally" getting pregnant.
Over at Pandagon, Amanda Marcotte theorizes that some men might feel emasculated by engagement and marriage rituals. For some couples, an unplanned pregnancy pushes the idea of marriage to the fore. Instead of playing into gendered, suffocating wedding planning, "....you could get her pregnant and be the conquering hero by making an honest woman of her...It’s the perfect way to get what you want (marriage, babies) without having to say you want that girly stuff. It certainly explained a handful of men’s erratic behavior and opinions that I’ve known in my time."
Here's another idea: men just don't--and really can't--understand the cramp that unplanned pregnancy puts on a woman's style. (Abortion? The cost and the public shaming. Adoption? The physical and emotional toll. Motherhood? Hello!) As The Sexist writes, "I don’t know: Perhaps our joy is muted by the fact that unexpected pregnancies tend to put us ladies out a touch."-TLF
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
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Interesting findings, but honestly not surprising. Men don't have to get pregnant, be basically sick & uncomfortable for nine months, then undergo a painful childbirth, and then--unless your partner is an enlightened or responsible daddy--get saddled with primary responsibility for an infant for years afterward.
So I don't find it hard to believe that when men think of fatherhood, they think of the fun stuff (playing with the kid, teaching it math, having it call his friends "Uncle" and "Aunt"); while women think of the un-fun stuff (throwing up in the morning, excruciating pain, childcare, etc.). The majority of the really unpleasant stuff (save teenagehood), men really don't have to deal with.
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