Jenny Sanford, who became widely known for being cheated on by her soon-to-be-ex-husband, Mark Sanford (the Governor of South Carolina, whose extramarital affair was made public back in June), has written a new book called Staying True to tell her story. At the time that the scandalous news broke, Sanford notably differed from the many wives of the many public figures who have cheated (which The Lady Finger addressed here) in that she chose not to stand by her husband.
The publication of her new book has Sanford back in the spotlight, albeit with a diminished, or at least disputed, public stature. Jezebel looks at some of the varied responses to the book here. ABC interviewed Sanford, and she also appeared on The View.
A Washington Post reviewer said, "I cheered the emergence of a new model for the wronged political spouse... Yet the most disappointing part of Staying True is that, consciously or not, Jenny Sanford reveals her own complicity -- not in facilitating her husband's affair, but in allowing herself to be treated so badly for so long" and "the disappointing part is that Jenny Sanford is, well, the very victim I had imagined her not to be. The book is replete with instances of Jenny-as-doormat, from the very start of their relationship and continuing, excruciatingly, months after her discovery of his affair."
The New York Times called the book an "elegant evisceration of a memoir" and looked at Sanford's victimized position as part of a more complicated series of pressures: "Women can be trapped in many ways, she said. She felt snared in their very public life." The LA Times took a snarky critical stand and says, "for all the pious references to forgiveness stitched throughout the narrative, revenge is a barely concealed subtext. And revenge she gets, but there's a good bit of collateral damage in what's just as obviously unintended self-revelation. In fact, by the time we get to the affair late in the book, it's a bit of a relief, since this is about the first normative impulse either of the Sanfords seems to have had during their marriage."
The reviewers disagree as to whether the book is victimizing or empowering, but it's at the very least courageous to expose one's private life so publicly, as Sanford has done. -TLF
Monday, February 8, 2010
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3 comments:
The die was cast when she agreed to the future Governor's request that they omit the word "faithful" from their marriage vows. I guess he wanted to leave open the option of finding his true "soul mate". This book and these individuals show yet again how we keep electing sociopaths.
Thanks for your comment, Anonymous. On the surface, omitting the word "faithful" from a marriage vow seems like a good way for a polyamorous couple to express a lifelong commitment to one another that also incorporates sexual experimentation with others. In the Sanford case, however, this seems to have backfired, especially if Jenny Sanford was forced or cajoled, as you insinuate, to sign onto an agreement that she wasn't comfortable with. Yes, many politicians are corrupt. But I don't think that marriage vows that include a nod toward the fact that both individuals may feel attraction toward others makes either person out to be a sociopath.
Sanford spoke about striking "faithful" from their vows when she appeared on The View. It seems like it was one of the few open, honest conversations they had about the meaning of marriage, their commitment to each other, and their long term expectations. (The word, at the time, felt insignificant, she says.)
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