The notion that inner turmoil accompanies housewifery is not a new one. Richard Yates's 1961 Revolutionary Road, which was made into a hot movie last year, and Michael Cunningham's The Hours, which was also made into a movie and is based on Virginia Woolf's seminal 1925 novel Mrs. Dalloway, are among the many artistically significant and moving criticisms of modern life as a non-working woman and the expectations that accompany the role of woman-of-the-house.
These works, among others, are of cultural significance and have the capacity to be of importance to feminist thought. To mock the housewife role today feels tired and offensive, as Ian Frazier shows in the humor column of the New Yorker this week in his piece, "Easy Cocktails from the Cursing Mommy." The narrator is the cursing mommy, it turns out, who is a foul-mouthed alcoholic with an obnoxious disdain for her children, husband, and household chores.
The cursing mommy says, in a moment of rare composure, "Larry and the kids will be home soon. Fortunately, however, tonight is Make Your Own Goddam Dinner Night, a recently instituted family ritual," allowing her to shirk all responsibilities other than mixing drinks. The cursing mommy is a pitiful, pathetic, and sorry figure whose ineptitude is designed to be comical. Implicit is the assumption that housework is so unbearable and monotonous that it can drive women to alcoholism and borderline insanity. This assumption is destructive in this simplistic context, without the complex criticism offered by more critical assessments of the same underlying assumption, such as those offered in Revolutionary Road (and addressed on The Lady Finger), and while this type of mocking humor does draw attention to limiting lifestyles that many women lead, it offers nothing constructive or critical. -Sara
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Stay-at-home dads on the rise
The rise of stay-at-home dads has received increasing attention lately as growing numbers of Americans are out of work and revisiting traditional ideas of how to most effectively manage a household. While men are still barely a presence in the at-home childcare world, in 2008, 2.5% of full time parents were men, which showed a 30% increase in stay-at-home dads over the previous five years.
Women finally hold nearly half of the jobs in the US and current trends, especially coupled with the recession (which has been dubbed by some as a "he-cession" for proportionally high job losses for men) suggest that for the first time ever, women will surpass men in numbers in the workforce later this year. However, experts say that women are still more likely to manage many household tasks and organize their children's busy extracurricular lives.
Stay-at-home dads are still often called "Mr. Mom," and many dads who are out of work plan on parenting only temporarily until the economy improves, or they work part time. And bread-winning moms are still, in most cases, responsible for managing many or most of the household chores. So what does this mean for the culture of child-rearing and gender roles in the home? For now, not much. But the recession just may be chipping away inadvertently at polar gender roles in the household, serving to normalize fathering. But it might take a generation until we really know for sure. -Sara
Women finally hold nearly half of the jobs in the US and current trends, especially coupled with the recession (which has been dubbed by some as a "he-cession" for proportionally high job losses for men) suggest that for the first time ever, women will surpass men in numbers in the workforce later this year. However, experts say that women are still more likely to manage many household tasks and organize their children's busy extracurricular lives.
Stay-at-home dads are still often called "Mr. Mom," and many dads who are out of work plan on parenting only temporarily until the economy improves, or they work part time. And bread-winning moms are still, in most cases, responsible for managing many or most of the household chores. So what does this mean for the culture of child-rearing and gender roles in the home? For now, not much. But the recession just may be chipping away inadvertently at polar gender roles in the household, serving to normalize fathering. But it might take a generation until we really know for sure. -Sara
Monday, September 7, 2009
That's all, guys.
Hey, folks!
I’m trying to stop addressing groups of people as “guys” (e.g. “hey, guys!” or “do you guys want to get some food?”). For one, it normalizes masculinity in the same way as using masculine pronouns as the default for a hypothetical person or using “man” in place of “person” or “human.” I’d bet that a lot of people who make an effort in academic papers to use “one” or “he/she” (which is still problematic in my book) still call everyone “guys” or “dudes” in their casual speech. Referring to a group of people of mixed genders as “guys” perpetuates the idea that men are the “normal” gender and that women and genderqueer people are the Other. Try saying, “Hey, ladies!” to a group of men and see what reaction you get.
It can also be insensitive to people who do not conform to the gender binary or do not identify with their assigned gender. For example, I was recently watching a YouTube video of the dance group Vogue Evolution, who appear on MTV’s America’s Best Dance Crew. After the performance, the panelists repeatedly addressed the group as “you guys” despite the fact that one member is a trans woman (the other four are men). The panelists’ comments were all positive, and I’m sure they use the same phrasing for all groups no matter their genders, but I cringed every time they said it. I don’t know if this particular trans woman has a problem with being addressed this way, but a lot of non-conforming and trans folk are sensitive to being addressed as their assigned or perceived gender instead of their true gender identity.
We may not know the gender identity of the person we’re talking to, nor whether xe is transgendered, cisgendered, or genderqueer, so I think it’s best to play it safe and avoid gendered language.
It’s been somewhat difficult to break the habit, but luckily there are a lot of alternatives. Being from the South, I feel the most comfortable with “y’all.” I also use “folks” and “people.” I’ve had success with using numbers as well, as in, “Do you two want to go to the park?” Using “comrades” and “friends” also appeals to me but I’d be more selective in the situations in which I’d use them. Any more suggestions?
-Adrienne
I’m trying to stop addressing groups of people as “guys” (e.g. “hey, guys!” or “do you guys want to get some food?”). For one, it normalizes masculinity in the same way as using masculine pronouns as the default for a hypothetical person or using “man” in place of “person” or “human.” I’d bet that a lot of people who make an effort in academic papers to use “one” or “he/she” (which is still problematic in my book) still call everyone “guys” or “dudes” in their casual speech. Referring to a group of people of mixed genders as “guys” perpetuates the idea that men are the “normal” gender and that women and genderqueer people are the Other. Try saying, “Hey, ladies!” to a group of men and see what reaction you get.
It can also be insensitive to people who do not conform to the gender binary or do not identify with their assigned gender. For example, I was recently watching a YouTube video of the dance group Vogue Evolution, who appear on MTV’s America’s Best Dance Crew. After the performance, the panelists repeatedly addressed the group as “you guys” despite the fact that one member is a trans woman (the other four are men). The panelists’ comments were all positive, and I’m sure they use the same phrasing for all groups no matter their genders, but I cringed every time they said it. I don’t know if this particular trans woman has a problem with being addressed this way, but a lot of non-conforming and trans folk are sensitive to being addressed as their assigned or perceived gender instead of their true gender identity.
We may not know the gender identity of the person we’re talking to, nor whether xe is transgendered, cisgendered, or genderqueer, so I think it’s best to play it safe and avoid gendered language.
It’s been somewhat difficult to break the habit, but luckily there are a lot of alternatives. Being from the South, I feel the most comfortable with “y’all.” I also use “folks” and “people.” I’ve had success with using numbers as well, as in, “Do you two want to go to the park?” Using “comrades” and “friends” also appeals to me but I’d be more selective in the situations in which I’d use them. Any more suggestions?
-Adrienne
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
